How to stave off the holiday doldrums? Wander the malls and window shop without hardly an extra dollar to snatch up that oh-so-not really, but-it-is-necessary-super-cheap-purchase.
I've begun to notice that I live my life, when not working or even when I am, in a sort of dashed sequence of existence. Start, stop, start, stop, start again, and so on. Is this normal for everyone? I feel like an old person who after years of driving still feels the need to hit the breaks every few feet, but maybe for different reasons. Yoga, as much as I enjoy it and feel the wash of positive effects, lose interest. My writers group which met only twice a month and gave me joy to be in the company of such a great group of intelligent people, has faded like an overused battery in a....well, never mind.
Maybe it's the murkiness of the shorter and colder days that has seeped in pulling me into the cozy trenches of a fuzzy blanketed winter rut. If I could've met the 20-year old me, I would've told her - look you're not cut out for the conventional 9-5 life. You get too easily bored. Face it. And look for a career that is not the 9-5, so you can thrive.
And now the electricity is once again waning, the restlessness is setting in. I need to be recharged.
My relationships even all have had a short shelf-life, though not at my voluntary choice. At least not consciously. I still think about the last guy I was dating. He too disappeared after about 3 months. Just stopped calling. Bam, cold-turkey. Of course I chose to date someone who wasn't ready for a relationship. But I still think about him and miss him, even through the haze of anger for his completely disrespecting behavior, of course I still want him to call me.
I just realized, I stopped in the middle of writing this post to make a call, turn on my air freshener....I think there's a term for that - A.D.D.
What would happen if I actually stuck to something. Can I stick to something?
It may not be in my DNA. The answer to be revealed.....next year?
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