And I ran away

Do you ever those days (or weeks) when the doldrums just seem to stick to you? You wander and wander around and fill your head with words that no one will ever hear and maybe, just maybe, jot them them down secretly. Hoping that to free the words will free your mind and your heart. Sometimes that doesn't always work. So, to escape I escaped. I ran away for the afternoon to Santa Barbara. I packed my bag, ready for overnight, stashed my laptop and breathed in the hope of a new adventure.

How amazingly beautiful it was. The blue sky was true, so flat and cloudless and calm. The temperature was nearly the same within and without my tortured soul. It was like floating in water. I wandered around the main drag and window shopped the cute boutiques. I had lunch with myself and with a glass of cool chardonnay. After inquiring at a couple of hotels, that were either booked or far out of my price range, (which, let's be honest...anything over $20 a night right now, is out of my price range.) I knew it was not going to last. The afternoon carried on comfortably and carefree and I knew I needed to come home. I had already RSVP'd for my writer's group that evening. Having already flaked on the last meeting, I felt I needed to go.

So, I said goodbye to my afternoon and strolled back to my car, where I new a long, arduous drive in late afternoon traffic awaited.

Still, it was worth it. Worth an afternoon where no one knew where I was. An afternoon of freedom. And I would do it again. Hopefully, with someone who's hand I can hold. If not, then just with me. I will hold my own hand.

The party begins - again!

Okay. How many times have I started and stopped blogs? Too many to count. I'm not consistent. I try. I really do. Hopefully this will be different. And by this, perhaps I mean, my life.

I have been out of work for nearly 6 months (again). This time I have filled my time with yoga and writing and other various adventures and positive experiences. Oh and looking for work, of course.

Having this free time shouldn't mean moping around and wallowing in the "I'm a loser" pool. Especially at my age. It should be an opportunity that few have to explore. Explore the city you live in - in my case Los Angeles. To explore who you are. To feel the sunshine dripping on your face, not just to see what it looks like from outside your office window (if you are lucky enough to have a window).

So, once again here I am. Shining or at least trying to. The year is over in less than 6 months.
Where will I be? Will I be in love? Employed? Will my book be launched to great success? Will my passion truly be my surfboard carrying through this tidal wave? (yes, that cheesy). But, seriously? Will it?

The countdown is on.